A few tips on jet lag

I travel back and forth from the US to Asia every few months and jet lag has always been a bitch.  This past trip though was the easiest one i’ve ever had.  i’ve attributed it to the following:

1. Don’t eat much initially.  I found that not eating as much helps me stay more alert during those first few days. I especially don’t each much in the morning as I think before my body would interpret that meal more as dinner and i’d get tired.  Also, coffee has much more affect on a semi-empty stomach.

2. power through it, go out your first night and have a few drinks, you will sleep better

3. drugs — while i’m not a big proponent of pills, i find that popping a sleeping pill on your first two nights will help you sleep through the night.  this is usually the biggest issue as your body wants to act like it’s a nap.

4. exercise in the morning — this trip i forced myself to the gym in the morning.  30 minutes of cardio and some light weights (usually that’s all there is in hotels) seems to do the trick and get the blood flowing in the AM

5. never, ever nap…

happy travels!

Saigon Goes High End

Over the last year Saigon has been on this trend of opening up high end establishments.  From what I’ve seen so far, most of them haven’t done too well.  High end is not really my thing as it pains me to spend $10-$20 on a drink but, sometimes you gotta just step up and enjoy.

The Martini Bar at the Hyatt is one high end place that has now lasted over a year.  If that’s your thing, definitely stop by Thursday through Saturday as there are some hotties.

Last weekend we did a little Bui run, then took a couple of girls to the newest hotspot in town, Chill.

Most normal local girls haven’t been to Chill, nor have they ever seen anything quite like it yet so if you’re reading this post with any timeliness, it’s definitely a way to score on a date as there is no doubt they will be impressed.  The outdoor bar has an amazing view of the city and there are plenty of “corners” to snuggle up with your girl…

So if you’re willing to spend some loot to run some game, i suggest you grab your favorite massage or karaoke girl and Chill

Vung Tizzle Gangstas

As I was driving to Vung Tau (a local beach in Vietnam, not beautiful, but fun as hell) I threw on an old play list on my ipod labeled Gangsta… I know, I know, I grew up in the suburbs so I can’t say I know much about the life but… I must say, there is some serious wisdom found in the lyrics of the prestigious rap group known as the Ghetto Boys… See below…

For those of you travelling to SE Asia for the first time, looking for love, keep in mind one thing, you gotta let a ho be a ho… Now, that’s not to say all girls are hos, but, for the most part, if you are here on a quick hit holiday, you can be sure girls you meet know as much and will most likely treat you accordingly.

But that’s not really the point of my post!

Vung Tau has emerged as a pretty fun town for foreigners looking to get away and throw down some liquor and mack down some girls.  The food is awesome, Be sure to check out David’s Italian restaurant on the waterfront if you’re looking to take a break from Asian food. The dude’s actually Italian and is there every day making home made past, tiramisu and some authentic pizza.

Christmas in Vietnam is surprisingly festive.  Christmas Eve is quite possibly the biggest party night of the year, bars get off on dressing their girls in Santa outfits and there is actually some good deep fried turkey to be found at places like the Black Cat.

After an all nighter watching football, we decided to roll up to Vung Tau on Christmas day.  It was a quick hit as work called but we did manage to get in a few spots.  Here is the agenda I recommend…

Arrive Offshore 2 Hotel & Bar – $25 a night, big clean rooms, swimming pool and a cool bar with a few girls

Rex Hotel Massage – Right around the corner is the Rex hotel.  Let’s just say you can get full serviced satisfaction in a pretty clean, massage type environment.  (200,000 for the massage, 500,000 to 1,000,000 for the service.)  On a cold night in Korea last year we were killing time before the club so we decided to venture into a full service room salon.  Once you achieve that level of relaxation, gaming up civilians becomes much less intimidating.  My boy KDizzle mandating that every night begin as such… nuff said.

Offshore 1 – next door to the Rex is another hotel/bar combo we like.  Same owner as offshore 2, not as nice, but cheaper.  Friday night bbq at 7pm is off the hook, 100,000 VND ($5) for a nice spread.

The 411 on Offshore 1 & 2 – Drinks are pretty reasonable. I buy bottles for around 1,000,000 VND ($50).  You gotta be careful when you buy girl drinks though.  The most economical is to buy the girl bottle which is about 200,000 VND ($10) more but that allows the girls to drink with you.  Otherwise, drinks are anywhere from 50,000 ($2.50) a beer to 175,000 VND ($8.50).  The girls will try to hit you up as that’s how they get paid.  It adds up quick so i suggest going the bottle route or the beer only route.  If you don’t buy girl drinks, you won’t be a popular dude.  The girls aren’t too hot these days (note, it all changes from month to month)  but it’s a great home base, pool tables, create your own music playlists, watch a game on tv… If you want to take a girl out, it’s 200,000 VND ($10) on the weeknights and 300,000 VND ($15) on the weekend.  All this gets you is a date, from there the rest is negotiable.  Some are pay for play pros, other are just looking for love in all the wrong places…

The Red Parrot – 6D Le Quy Don — These days the best talent bar wise is definitely at the Parrot.    As with most bars in VT, there is a pool table, bar seating and lots of girls. The only downside to the Parrot is it’s a bit on the pricey side.  Bottles are about the same as anywhere else but the girl drinks can add up quick.  155,000 VND ($7.50) for a cocktail.  The hot ones will hit you up to get them a bottle of wine which is 1,100,000 VND ($55) to 1,300,000 VND ($65) per bottle. If you want to take a girl out, its a one wine bottle minimum.  Like offshore, that just gets you a date, the rest is negotiable.

We def had fun.  I hooked up with a cute little girl who went into this monologue on how she just wants love and was sad she was alone on Christmas.  She proceeded to tell me that she felt like guys could never trust her because she worked at the bar.  But she was just a normal girl who wants love… I took a look at her see through outfit, ass popping out of her g-string panties that were in full view and though to myself, you may not be a ho, but, you are definitely rocking a ho’s uniform, and that’s confusing (Dave Chappelle).

I ended my night at 5am holding hands with this girl on the beach.  The beach is a trip… Some dude was selling seafood and drinks streetside and he basically set us up a little table and chairs on the beach.  pretty cool… My night ended with a kiss on the cheek and about $200 poorer.

As I dropped her off, I was thinking to myself how much more expensive things are when you opt for romance over pay for play.

Sometimes you’re better off to just Let a Ho be a Ho…

 

Let a Ho Be a Ho — the Ghetto Boys.

There seems to be a lot of mother fuckers blind to the fact

That a ho is gonna be just that

And this type of ignorance is the very

Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetery

Intelligence is on call

You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves like a dog

Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger?

Then you’re a ho assed nigga

Goddamned hound

Pound for pound

You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town

She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow

But your trick ass fell in love with the ho

Tried to change her, make her be an angel

You keep putting your damn life in danger

Frontin’ niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Here’s something that I’d like to know (what?)

Why you take that ho, everywhere you go?

You walk around the club wit’ the ho in front

Tryin’ to keep up with that nasty assed cunt

You say you’re captain, but yo’ ship she’s sinkin’

As soon as you turn your back, the ho is blinkin’

Winkin’ her eye at another nigga

But you got her locked down, so you figure

Ho wears your jewelry every goddamned day,

But nigga, you just got the ho on display

Wouldn’t let her be herself, cause you’s a goddamned wimp

Now you know why hos date pimps

She’s a rhinestone freak 5 days a week,

But you get mad when niggas pop on her ass

Goddamned slutty ho, the bars are loaded

Don’t try to change her

You let the ho be a ho!

 

Shes a ho, (D how the fuck you know?)

Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro

Shes the type of ho that’s bound

To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around

Shes the kinda ho that’ll make you cry

The kinda ho you have to call before you come by

So why you wanna kill when she says no more

You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore

Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/XJY

Crazy motherfuckers fighting over hos

Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows

If a ho wants out I let her stank ass go

Cos I’ma let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Now do y’all follow me so muthafuckin’ far?

 

Geto Boys:

Yeah!

 

Akshen:

Hell yeah. I remember I was with this ho named Kim.

Let her use my car. Bitch went to go see another nigga. I damn

near killed that ho!

 

Willie D:

I fucked that ho, man!

 

Akshen:

You a mutafuckin’ lie!

 

Willie D:

I ain’t bullshittin’! Didn’t I, Bushwick and Red?

 

Dj Ready Read:

He went up in that bitch, man!

 

Bushwick Bill:

On the for rilla, my nigga.

 

Willie D:

Akshen, I’m telling you man…

 

I fucked that ho before you even knew her

Made her pussy go brrrrr when I stuck my dick to her

I knew she was a ho the first time I met her

So I got another ho and took them to the other level of the game

Got them high as a kite

And fucked both of those hoes that goddamned night

Then I sat back and relaxed

As they 69ed and ate each others cats

I dropped them off at home

God damn look at this shit my wallets gone

The hoes beat me but I left it alone

And used that shit as a stepping stone

I played it off the next time I saw the hoe

I just laughed and fucked her ass some more

She licked my ass and sucked my balls

And if I see her right now I can get some more

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Yeah, buddy. Willie D ain’t gonna let none of these hos

get him down. I ain’t cryin’ or dyin’ over none of you hos. I

ain’t buyin’ you no leather. I ain’t buyin’ you no suede, no

jewelery, no contacts, Lee Nails. I ain’t buyin’ you no hair, no

makeup, food, none of that good shit!

 

Bushwick Bill:

Tell ’em D!

 

Outro:

You gotta let a ho be a ho.

Cebu City til Sunrise

I had read a bit about Cebu City.  if you want a “directory” style review of all the nightlife, I found a great site – http://www.cebu-nightlife.com/  — The only thing I wish is that this guy made it easier to see what he really likes to do… You basically have to look through all the entries to figure out which spots might be ok.

When I first looked at that site, I thought Mango Road was going to be something like a mini- Angeles City or even P. Burgeous street.  But… It’s not.  For a beach town though, it was a pretty fun little place.

I only had one night there so we basically bounced up and down the street peeking into each spot. For the most part, they are all about the same.  The only bad experience we had was at a place called Love City.  I was reading the review on it here just now and it cracked me up… He said “The clientele is mostly Japanese and Korean, you don’t see a whole lot of foreigners in there.”   Last I checked we were in the Philippines so that would make Japanese and Koreans foreigners…

Anyway.  The KTV at Love City probably would have been fun, the girls were cute, seemed pretty cool and the price wasn’t too bad.  Keep in mind, Cebu is pretty cheap, so when you read other reviews, they probably consider a $100 tab expensive when, for me and two other guys, we still consider that cheap… Problem here though is they try to rip you off… They told us there was a bar minimum of about $50… Bottle was about $50 so we said sure.  But then, they wanted to tack on another $40 for girls drinks even though they drank out of the bottle.  I was pretty lit already so we just took the bottle and left.  I had to take a leak real bad, couldn’t find the bathroom so I just relieved myself in one of their many VIP rooms!  I figured my overpriced bar tab could cover their cleaning fees!

Now… onto the good!  We had some awesome Italian food, and a real good time at Sisters, Eric the Red, and Vikings.  By the time we ended up bar fining some girls, I was so wasted that i can’t even remember which one of the above it was from.  The consistent thing i found was that it was pretty cheap (bar fines were 1800 pesos or about $40), drink prices weren’t bad and the girls were pretty friendly everywhere.  Being based out of Saigon and having spent a lot of time in Manila, I’d say these girls were average at best.  Coming from a guy that has had many hot girls, I’ll take average with fun personalities any day of the week.

We got out of the bar with two girls each at about 3am.  One of the girls mentioned clubbing and for some god-forsaken reason, i thought it to be a good idea.  We crossed the street over to Mango square and went to the first club we found.  They hooked us up with this cool balcony VIP area for 1500 pesos $35 US  (1 bottle). We partied with our six girls, taking turns getting lap dances and regular dances with all the girls.  They were fun… One of my two gave me a hand job while the other one fed me appetizers!

My boy 69 (he’s 6’9) and I decided to go up onto the elevated dance floor and dance with some of the civilians in the joint… at one point it was just the two of us and about 15 girls (literally) alternating grinding on us.  It was fun…  So fun that when we finally left the sun was out.  I’m not talking about red sky sunrise, i’m talking about all out bright sun was up!  Red Bull and Vodka makes me sin!

Turned out one of my girls was bi-sexual which was the first time I’ve had a threesome with that added benefit…. I HIGHLY recommend it!

Gotta Love a Bisexual Girl

Cebu Girls

Daylight on Mango Ave

The Liver is Evil

I’m back… Moalboal – Cebu Philippines

I’ve decided that work really is not worth me neglecting my beloved blog… URL might be moving soon, but will keep you all posted on that.

The year has been great and i’m hoping to get some backlog entered as I’ve had some good trips to Seoul, Phu Quoc Island, Angeles City and Cebu.

What’s amazing about Asia to me is you can go to the quietest town with a population of 2 and still manage to have a damn good time…

Over the last few months I’ve had an interesting phenomenon occur.  Business is going ok, I’ve got some great managers in place now, so I’ve found myself with a ton of time… I started using my time to work out more then screwed up my shoulder so for the last few weeks I’ve just been feenin things to do.  It seems like a great problem to have but i realized it can get quite boring when you’re friends are all working!

Three days ago I got a call from my homie  from Korea. He found out he had a couple extra weeks vacation and decided that since there was a direct flight from Seoul, a Cebu trip was in order…  I looked at it, decided since Pacquiao was fighting, the NBA playoffs was on (the PI has a 24 hour basketball channel) and I love the beach, I might as well just join him!

One thing I really hope to do with this blog is remember my experiences and point you in the direction of places that don’t suck.  I say that because my buddy was reading up on Maolboal and some blogger wrote it’s the spot to drink – dive – relax – in that order… Well, if you’re thoughts around drinking are sitting around 4 small bars listening to drunk expats tell stories about how facebook, twitter and microsoft are all branches of the CIA (this is no fucking joke! I listened to this guy swear he can produce proof that CIA operatives run each company and he proceeded to liken Bill Gates to a figurehead along the same lines as Ronald McDonald).

I digress — So to put it in a the proper perspective, Moalboal is a place to DIVE – RELAX – DRINK. The diving is awesome, it’s a beautiful place to relax, and you can have some drinks at the bar.

With that said, I have had a blast for four reasons:

1. I’m here with one of my best friends in the world.  We don’t see each other much and this place has given us a lot of time to chill all the way back, have some drinks and talk shit… The 2nd day here we started out for lunch at the 7 Sins bar. After our lunch, my buddy’s dad showed up and ordered as well.  One thing to keep in mind about this place is it moves SLOW.  If you are from NYC and expect fast service, I suggest putting in a mouthpiece to keep from biting your tongue as it’s not gonna happen here.  Pop’s lunch took about an hour to arrive.  2 hours later, we were still at 7 Sins, shooting pool, talking shit, and one bottle drunker!

2. There is something to be said for small town fun. I think there are 4 bars here, maybe 5.  The Beach Bar, 7 Sins, Chili Bar and Pacitas.  Each bar will have 2-3 average girls and, possibly one above average girl working.  Each place we hopped into on Friday had a fun, chill vibe.  By the end of the night, we’d met every diver in town who likes to drink, we met every girl in town who works at the bars, every bar owner, and we managed to meet a group of nurses who popped in from Cebu city.  The common denominator with EVERY person we met is they asked us, are you going to the disco tomorrow!

On Saturday night, Pacitas does the “disco”.  It’s literally a one night a week club night. spectacle.  It’s actually a decent (for small town standards) club night with two rooms, DJ and beautiful deck overlooking the water. So we checked it out and EVERYBODY was there… There is something to be said for a town that’s like a family.  How many places will you go in your life where the owners extend tabs to strangers and offer to go out and change your money for you?

3. Everybody needs to relax.  If you are one of those types who are running on 90% most of the time, take 2-3 days and come to a place like this.  The water crashes up against the side of the hotel room, there are no cars, the food is excellent, and there are hardly any TV’s in town.

4. No matter where you go in Asia, you’ll always find some girls 🙂  Now, I can’t claim that a bagged a Jessica Alba look alike, but, I can say, if you want to get a little something something, it’s there for the taking.  You’ve got two choices, game up a cute nice girl who works behind one of the 4 bars and take advantage of the fact she’s hoping for marriage (not my favorite thing to do for morality purposes — yes, those of you who don’t like prostitution should really evaluate your other options for one night stands as it’s not often you meet girls who are simply down for that without carrying other hopes and dreams) , or… Wander around late at night (watch out for the lady boys) and magically, they appear! The first night I was so hammered that I barely remember how it all went down… But, basically a tranny was trying to pick me up, I said no thanks, asked for a girl, and there she was… She wanted me to go back to some room but I refused as even in a place like this you never know.  So we went to my hotel (Sevedra Beach Resort, no TV as an FYI, 1800 Pesos a nigth, oceanside), had a little fun, and she was on her way…She asked me how much, I suggested 2,000 pesos and she was happy as could be.

The next night was even worse than the first from an alcohol perspective.  We took down a bottle of $5 rum, had a grip of vodka red bull, tequila, jaeger, and then some Apple Rum at the DISCO! whoo hoo… man from what i remember it was off the chain (mild sarcasm).  But, on the real, it was pretty fun.  We met up with our diver homies, saw the nurses, met some girls from Denmark, made out with one of the girls from the bar, hung with a family, i mean literally, everyone was there.  By the end of the night, my buddy had a plateful of pork skewers and i was hemmed up by this girl I’d been dancing with for an hour.  She wanted to go back to my room so I obliged….

FULL DISCLOSURE, my recollection of her was that she was NOT cute… When all was said and done, she was ready to go, i was damn near passed out and she asked me to give her some money.  Two problems with this, one, I had to lecture her on the business ethics of full disclosure.  Two, I had no money! One thing to know about Moalboal is that there are NO ATMs within 1 hour of the town.  Only the hotel takes credit cards.  Being the sweetheart she was, she offered to extend me a line of credit for 1000 pesos. (this made me realize i was far too generous the night before with the other girl)

Sunday came and it was the Pacquiao fight.  Worst fight I’ve ever seen due to Mosley running around the ring the whole time.  If you come to the PI, keep in mind two things, they are very religious so Sunday is a quiet day unless you’re somewhere like Angeles City.  When Pacquiao fights, it’s like a national holiday… So, we couldn’t even get a car to go get money from the ATM!  Sunday afternoon, the restaurants kindly extended us a line of credit and we will be sending money back with the driver…

What a place…. I love it, and am also glad I’m leaving after 3 days as I’m a city boy at heart!

Stay tuned – We’ve got a big night planned in Cebu City tonight!