A few tips on jet lag

February 10, 2012 § 1 Comment


I travel back and forth from the US to Asia every few months and jet lag has always been a bitch.  This past trip though was the easiest one i’ve ever had.  i’ve attributed it to the following:

1. Don’t eat much initially.  I found that not eating as much helps me stay more alert during those first few days. I especially don’t each much in the morning as I think before my body would interpret that meal more as dinner and i’d get tired.  Also, coffee has much more affect on a semi-empty stomach.

2. power through it, go out your first night and have a few drinks, you will sleep better

3. drugs — while i’m not a big proponent of pills, i find that popping a sleeping pill on your first two nights will help you sleep through the night.  this is usually the biggest issue as your body wants to act like it’s a nap.

4. exercise in the morning — this trip i forced myself to the gym in the morning.  30 minutes of cardio and some light weights (usually that’s all there is in hotels) seems to do the trick and get the blood flowing in the AM

5. never, ever nap…

happy travels!

happy jet setting

Vung Tizzle Gangstas

December 26, 2011 § Leave a comment


As I was driving to Vung Tau (a local beach in Vietnam, not beautiful, but fun as hell) I threw on an old play list on my ipod labeled Gangsta… I know, I know, I grew up in the suburbs so I can’t say I know much about the life but… I must say, there is some serious wisdom found in the lyrics of the prestigious rap group known as the Ghetto Boys… See below…

For those of you travelling to SE Asia for the first time, looking for love, keep in mind one thing, you gotta let a ho be a ho… Now, that’s not to say all girls are hos, but, for the most part, if you are here on a quick hit holiday, you can be sure girls you meet know as much and will most likely treat you accordingly.

But that’s not really the point of my post!

Vung Tau has emerged as a pretty fun town for foreigners looking to get away and throw down some liquor and mack down some girls.  The food is awesome, Be sure to check out David’s Italian restaurant on the waterfront if you’re looking to take a break from Asian food. The dude’s actually Italian and is there every day making home made past, tiramisu and some authentic pizza.

Christmas in Vietnam is surprisingly festive.  Christmas Eve is quite possibly the biggest party night of the year, bars get off on dressing their girls in Santa outfits and there is actually some good deep fried turkey to be found at places like the Black Cat.

After an all nighter watching football, we decided to roll up to Vung Tau on Christmas day.  It was a quick hit as work called but we did manage to get in a few spots.  Here is the agenda I recommend…

Arrive Offshore 2 Hotel & Bar – $25 a night, big clean rooms, swimming pool and a cool bar with a few girls

Rex Hotel Massage – Right around the corner is the Rex hotel.  Let’s just say you can get full serviced satisfaction in a pretty clean, massage type environment.  (200,000 for the massage, 500,000 to 1,000,000 for the service.)  On a cold night in Korea last year we were killing time before the club so we decided to venture into a full service room salon.  Once you achieve that level of relaxation, gaming up civilians becomes much less intimidating.  My boy KDizzle mandating that every night begin as such… nuff said.

Offshore 1 – next door to the Rex is another hotel/bar combo we like.  Same owner as offshore 2, not as nice, but cheaper.  Friday night bbq at 7pm is off the hook, 100,000 VND ($5) for a nice spread.

The 411 on Offshore 1 & 2 – Drinks are pretty reasonable. I buy bottles for around 1,000,000 VND ($50).  You gotta be careful when you buy girl drinks though.  The most economical is to buy the girl bottle which is about 200,000 VND ($10) more but that allows the girls to drink with you.  Otherwise, drinks are anywhere from 50,000 ($2.50) a beer to 175,000 VND ($8.50).  The girls will try to hit you up as that’s how they get paid.  It adds up quick so i suggest going the bottle route or the beer only route.  If you don’t buy girl drinks, you won’t be a popular dude.  The girls aren’t too hot these days (note, it all changes from month to month)  but it’s a great home base, pool tables, create your own music playlists, watch a game on tv… If you want to take a girl out, it’s 200,000 VND ($10) on the weeknights and 300,000 VND ($15) on the weekend.  All this gets you is a date, from there the rest is negotiable.  Some are pay for play pros, other are just looking for love in all the wrong places…

The Red Parrot – 6D Le Quy Don — These days the best talent bar wise is definitely at the Parrot.    As with most bars in VT, there is a pool table, bar seating and lots of girls. The only downside to the Parrot is it’s a bit on the pricey side.  Bottles are about the same as anywhere else but the girl drinks can add up quick.  155,000 VND ($7.50) for a cocktail.  The hot ones will hit you up to get them a bottle of wine which is 1,100,000 VND ($55) to 1,300,000 VND ($65) per bottle. If you want to take a girl out, its a one wine bottle minimum.  Like offshore, that just gets you a date, the rest is negotiable.

We def had fun.  I hooked up with a cute little girl who went into this monologue on how she just wants love and was sad she was alone on Christmas.  She proceeded to tell me that she felt like guys could never trust her because she worked at the bar.  But she was just a normal girl who wants love… I took a look at her see through outfit, ass popping out of her g-string panties that were in full view and though to myself, you may not be a ho, but, you are definitely rocking a ho’s uniform, and that’s confusing (Dave Chappelle).

I ended my night at 5am holding hands with this girl on the beach.  The beach is a trip… Some dude was selling seafood and drinks streetside and he basically set us up a little table and chairs on the beach.  pretty cool… My night ended with a kiss on the cheek and about $200 poorer.

As I dropped her off, I was thinking to myself how much more expensive things are when you opt for romance over pay for play.

Sometimes you’re better off to just Let a Ho be a Ho…

 

Let a Ho Be a Ho — the Ghetto Boys.

There seems to be a lot of mother fuckers blind to the fact

That a ho is gonna be just that

And this type of ignorance is the very

Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetery

Intelligence is on call

You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves like a dog

Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger?

Then you’re a ho assed nigga

Goddamned hound

Pound for pound

You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town

She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow

But your trick ass fell in love with the ho

Tried to change her, make her be an angel

You keep putting your damn life in danger

Frontin’ niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Here’s something that I’d like to know (what?)

Why you take that ho, everywhere you go?

You walk around the club wit’ the ho in front

Tryin’ to keep up with that nasty assed cunt

You say you’re captain, but yo’ ship she’s sinkin’

As soon as you turn your back, the ho is blinkin’

Winkin’ her eye at another nigga

But you got her locked down, so you figure

Ho wears your jewelry every goddamned day,

But nigga, you just got the ho on display

Wouldn’t let her be herself, cause you’s a goddamned wimp

Now you know why hos date pimps

She’s a rhinestone freak 5 days a week,

But you get mad when niggas pop on her ass

Goddamned slutty ho, the bars are loaded

Don’t try to change her

You let the ho be a ho!

 

Shes a ho, (D how the fuck you know?)

Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro

Shes the type of ho that’s bound

To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around

Shes the kinda ho that’ll make you cry

The kinda ho you have to call before you come by

So why you wanna kill when she says no more

You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore

Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/XJY

Crazy motherfuckers fighting over hos

Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows

If a ho wants out I let her stank ass go

Cos I’ma let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Now do y’all follow me so muthafuckin’ far?

 

Geto Boys:

Yeah!

 

Akshen:

Hell yeah. I remember I was with this ho named Kim.

Let her use my car. Bitch went to go see another nigga. I damn

near killed that ho!

 

Willie D:

I fucked that ho, man!

 

Akshen:

You a mutafuckin’ lie!

 

Willie D:

I ain’t bullshittin’! Didn’t I, Bushwick and Red?

 

Dj Ready Read:

He went up in that bitch, man!

 

Bushwick Bill:

On the for rilla, my nigga.

 

Willie D:

Akshen, I’m telling you man…

 

I fucked that ho before you even knew her

Made her pussy go brrrrr when I stuck my dick to her

I knew she was a ho the first time I met her

So I got another ho and took them to the other level of the game

Got them high as a kite

And fucked both of those hoes that goddamned night

Then I sat back and relaxed

As they 69ed and ate each others cats

I dropped them off at home

God damn look at this shit my wallets gone

The hoes beat me but I left it alone

And used that shit as a stepping stone

I played it off the next time I saw the hoe

I just laughed and fucked her ass some more

She licked my ass and sucked my balls

And if I see her right now I can get some more

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Yeah, buddy. Willie D ain’t gonna let none of these hos

get him down. I ain’t cryin’ or dyin’ over none of you hos. I

ain’t buyin’ you no leather. I ain’t buyin’ you no suede, no

jewelery, no contacts, Lee Nails. I ain’t buyin’ you no hair, no

makeup, food, none of that good shit!

 

Bushwick Bill:

Tell ’em D!

 

Outro:

You gotta let a ho be a ho.

I’m back… Moalboal – Cebu Philippines

May 9, 2011 § Leave a comment


I’ve decided that work really is not worth me neglecting my beloved blog… URL might be moving soon, but will keep you all posted on that.

fun little bar in maolboalThe year has been great and i’m hoping to get some backlog entered as I’ve had some good trips to Seoul, Phu Quoc Island, Angeles City and Cebu.

What’s amazing about Asia to me is you can go to the quietest town with a population of 2 and still manage to have a damn good time…

Over the last few months I’ve had an interesting phenomenon occur.  Business is going ok, I’ve got some great managers in place now, so I’ve found myself with a ton of time… I started using my time to work out more then screwed up my shoulder so for the last few weeks I’ve just been feenin things to do.  It seems like a great problem to have but i realized it can get quite boring when you’re friends are all working!

Three days ago I got a call from my homie  from Korea. He found out he had a couple extra weeks vacation and decided that since there was a direct flight from Seoul, a Cebu trip was in order…  I looked at it, decided since Pacquiao was fighting, the NBA playoffs was on (the PI has a 24 hour basketball channel) and I love the beach, I might as well just join him!

One thing I really hope to do with this blog is remember my experiences and point you in the direction of places that don’t suck.  I say that because my buddy was reading up on Maolboal and some blogger wrote it’s the spot to drink – dive – relax – in that order… Well, if you’re thoughts around drinking are sitting around 4 small bars listening to drunk expats tell stories about how facebook, twitter and microsoft are all branches of the CIA (this is no fucking joke! I listened to this guy swear he can produce proof that CIA operatives run each company and he proceeded to liken Bill Gates to a figurehead along the same lines as Ronald McDonald).

I digress — So to put it in a the proper perspective, Moalboal is a place to DIVE – RELAX – DRINK. The diving is awesome, it’s a beautiful place to relax, and you can have some drinks at the bar.

With that said, I have had a blast for four reasons:

1. I’m here with one of my best friends in the world.  We don’t see each other much and this place has given us a lot of time to chill all the way back, have some drinks and talk shit… The 2nd day here we started out for lunch at the 7 Sins bar. After our lunch, my buddy’s dad showed up and ordered as well.  One thing to keep in mind about this place is it moves SLOW.  If you are from NYC and expect fast service, I suggest putting in a mouthpiece to keep from biting your tongue as it’s not gonna happen here.  Pop’s lunch took about an hour to arrive.  2 hours later, we were still at 7 Sins, shooting pool, talking shit, and one bottle drunker!

2. There is something to be said for small town fun. I think there are 4 bars here, maybe 5.  The Beach Bar, 7 Sins, Chili Bar and Pacitas.  Each bar will have 2-3 average girls and, possibly one above average girl working.  Each place we hopped into on Friday had a fun, chill vibe.  By the end of the night, we’d met every diver in town who likes to drink, we met every girl in town who works at the bars, every bar owner, and we managed to meet a group of nurses who popped in from Cebu city.  The common denominator with EVERY person we met is they asked us, are you going to the disco tomorrow!

On Saturday night, Pacitas does the “disco”.  It’s literally a one night a week club night. spectacle.  It’s actually a decent (for small town standards) club night with two rooms, DJ and beautiful deck overlooking the water. So we checked it out and EVERYBODY was there… There is something to be said for a town that’s like a family.  How many places will you go in your life where the owners extend tabs to strangers and offer to go out and change your money for you?

3. Everybody needs to relax.  If you are one of those types who are running on 90% most of the time, take 2-3 days and come to a place like this.  The water crashes up against the side of the hotel room, there are no cars, the food is excellent, and there are hardly any TV’s in town.

4. No matter where you go in Asia, you’ll always find some girls 🙂  Now, I can’t claim that a bagged a Jessica Alba look alike, but, I can say, if you want to get a little something something, it’s there for the taking.  You’ve got two choices, game up a cute nice girl who works behind one of the 4 bars and take advantage of the fact she’s hoping for marriage (not my favorite thing to do for morality purposes — yes, those of you who don’t like prostitution should really evaluate your other options for one night stands as it’s not often you meet girls who are simply down for that without carrying other hopes and dreams) , or… Wander around late at night (watch out for the lady boys) and magically, they appear! The first night I was so hammered that I barely remember how it all went down… But, basically a tranny was trying to pick me up, I said no thanks, asked for a girl, and there she was… She wanted me to go back to some room but I refused as even in a place like this you never know.  So we went to my hotel (Sevedra Beach Resort, no TV as an FYI, 1800 Pesos a nigth, oceanside), had a little fun, and she was on her way…She asked me how much, I suggested 2,000 pesos and she was happy as could be.

The next night was even worse than the first from an alcohol perspective.  We took down a bottle of $5 rum, had a grip of vodka red bull, tequila, jaeger, and then some Apple Rum at the DISCO! whoo hoo… man from what i remember it was off the chain (mild sarcasm).  But, on the real, it was pretty fun.  We met up with our diver homies, saw the nurses, met some girls from Denmark, made out with one of the girls from the bar, hung with a family, i mean literally, everyone was there.  By the end of the night, my buddy had a plateful of pork skewers and i was hemmed up by this girl I’d been dancing with for an hour.  She wanted to go back to my room so I obliged….

FULL DISCLOSURE, my recollection of her was that she was NOT cute… When all was said and done, she was ready to go, i was damn near passed out and she asked me to give her some money.  Two problems with this, one, I had to lecture her on the business ethics of full disclosure.  Two, I had no money! One thing to know about Moalboal is that there are NO ATMs within 1 hour of the town.  Only the hotel takes credit cards.  Being the sweetheart she was, she offered to extend me a line of credit for 1000 pesos. (this made me realize i was far too generous the night before with the other girl)

Sunday came and it was the Pacquiao fight.  Worst fight I’ve ever seen due to Mosley running around the ring the whole time.  If you come to the PI, keep in mind two things, they are very religious so Sunday is a quiet day unless you’re somewhere like Angeles City.  When Pacquiao fights, it’s like a national holiday… So, we couldn’t even get a car to go get money from the ATM!  Sunday afternoon, the restaurants kindly extended us a line of credit and we will be sending money back with the driver…

What a place…. I love it, and am also glad I’m leaving after 3 days as I’m a city boy at heart!

Stay tuned – We’ve got a big night planned in Cebu City tonight!

To Share or Not To Share

December 18, 2010 § Leave a comment


2guys1girlFriday night started out with an interesting conversation at a little expat bar called Voodoo.  The philosophy of sharing girls came up as we made plans for karaoke later at 6B.  My buddies Sven the Swede and Dino met a girl two trips back with some hot daisy dukes on.  That night Sven had already chosen when little daisy dukes came in so she ended up sitting with Dino. They exchanged numbers.  The next day over some beers, Sven told Dino that he had gotten Daisy Dukes phone number when Dino went to take a leak…

Now, if this was you, would you be upset?  My advice to you is if you’re travelling in Asia or any other place where the hosted scene is running rampant your motto should be share and share alike!  Keep in mind as soon as you leave, the girl you just had a blast with and possibly fell for is gonna be sitting with someone else.  So if that’s the case and you find a good one, it might as well be your friend.

So after we all agreed we rolled over to 6B karaoke again.  This time, Sven had already called daisy dukes so she was waiting for us out front.  This time though she had a dress on and it just did not do her the proper justice.  So Sven did what any good customer should do, he sat with two girls!  6B was a lot of fun… 2 bottles later we were downstairs at the club.  The one bad thing about 6B is that the karaoke rooms and the club are different owners so the girls we liked from up above couldn’t go down clubbing with us.  But… the beauty of Vietnam is there are always more girls.  I ended up hooking up with a real cutie.  Unfortunately, this is about the end of my memory as by that point we were three bottles in!  I do remember seeing about 6 girls from Le Duyen massage which was cool.  i had a few drinks with them and the two guys who brought them there.

The Lazy Eyed Killa

November 5, 2010 § 1 Comment


Lazy Eyed KillaHalloween weekend has gotten to be a pretty fun time to be in Saigon.  The Vietnamese have really taken to the holiday and clubs are putting on some decent parties. If you’re looking for a time to come out here, I recommend it.  It’s not as busy yet with the VK tourists, weather is cooler and there are a lot of parties around the American Holiday.  Only drawback is it’s a little rainy.  If you’re like me though, you don’t do a whole lot outside and personally, I’d trade the rain for the mobs of tourists anyday.

Personally, I didn’t really do a whole lot as I’ve been keeping it on the DL a bit — the j.o.b really inhibits my blogging ambitions.  The Sunday night of Halloween though my boy Big Mal came back from his sex tour, I mean sight-seeing holiday of the PI, Thailand and Cambodia. On cue, he was ready to roll with one of his boys he met in Brazil, Bigger E, who could be the biggest guy to ever hit Vietnam.  I figured we’d check out the “Sexy” Halloween party at Lush where it’s pretty easy for me to get a good table.  And, of course, every new person to town has to start off at my favorite joint Tram Trim, the Vietnamese Hooters.  After about 15 minutes of drinking, I noticed a new girl I hadn’t seen before that was looking real nice from a distance.  The body was absolutely ripe (the pic doesn’t really do her justice as the booty was off the chain…  My boys, especially Bigger E, were all about it so I called her over for a little drink.  Turns out she had only been working there for 3 weeks so she had that fresh innocence about her.  After some random chit chat, she wandered back to the table she was serving and my boy the Hit Man was like “damn, she’s cross eyed”!  Bigger E couldn’t believe it as his eyes never got past her rack.  Upon further inspection though, turns out it was just a lazy eye!

Lazy Eye or not, she still had a killa body and nice skin so on my request, the Hit Man got her digits and invited her out to the club with us.  Which, get’s me to the point of this blog entry.  If you aren’t going straight pay for play, and, you are at a place where the girls are waitresses, hostesses, or even at karaoke, the best thing you can do is figure out how long they’ve worked there.  Typically, in the first few months, it’s still new.  Going out is fun, meeting people is fun and the money, while it’s still their objective, is not the only thing on their mind.  Once they pass that initial stage of intrigue, what you have left is a girl that’s hit on 3-5 times a day by scrubs, is tired of drinking with loser guys, and really just wants to make her money and bounce.  So if you want to try to prove you got game, are looking for the G.F.E. and aren’t trying to climb Mt. Everest, stick with newer girls.  The reverse of that is if you’re going pay for play and just want performance, remember, while there is some genetic influence on a girl’s sexual prowess, at the end of the day, Experience = Performance.

At Lush that night, the Lazy Eyed Killa showed up, but, so did my girlfriend which intensified my game 10 fold as she couldn’t stop looking my girl.  Her observations revealed four things: 1) she’s hot,  2) she was rocking  some nice clothes 3) she was rocking a new iphone, 4) we get along extremely well and she was smiling, laughing and dancing the whole time we were there.  Lesson #2, in Asia, girls’ don’t give a shit if you have a girlfriend or if you have other girls with you.  In fact, their competitive juices flow and, if you’ve got your girl laced properly, their jealousy flows as well. I paid another visit to Tram Trim as my new homie, the Bigger E wanted to do his last supper there.  I’d say with 90% confidence that if the Hit Man doesn’t do her first, I’ll probably have to when I get back from this two week trip to the desert, I mean the USA… Special Shout out to Season Three of Curb Your Enthusiasm – While I’m not a huge fan of the show, watch the Crazy Eyed Killa Episode and you’ll get 30 good minutes of laughter and an extra chuckle at the expense of my new found friend the Lazy Eyed Killa…

Saigon’s Got Me Twisted

July 2, 2010 § 3 Comments


This was just a bizarre week.  It all started with my boy Big Mal who couldn’t get a flight back to the US as he’s doing the budget traveler on mileage thing so what I thought would be recovery time ended up resulting in a few more nights out. The result of that was another ladies night at Lush. One of my favorite M.O.s is to hit up massage or a beer garden where the girls get off between 8-10:30 and then try to get them to come out clubbing. I figured, what better place than Le Duyen 4. Le Duyen is a little tricky, the girls there are expert flirts and they lie through their teeth about going out… just the type of challenge I like!  As I was deciding which girl I wanted to mack on, a group of 15+ Chinese dudes came in and went straight upstairs.  This left me with one little newbie clingy to my arm so I figured, wtf, might as well give her a shot.  This is where things got strange… She started my head wash with a kiss on my lips which took me by complete surprise, especially since my eyes were closed.  For those of you who have never been to Le Duyen, this is extremely bizarre.  They flirt, but never do anything, especially with people around.  She ended my head wash by biting my chin. With her clinging to my arm, we headed upstairs to the massage room.

Typically, if you go with a friend, you get a room shared by the two of you.  With Big Mal and his girl on the table next to me, my girl started my massage.  Once she got to my legs I had to do a double take and make sure I wasn’t in My Anh down the street as she wasn’t too concerned with a typical massage but seemed much more focused on my nuts.  I told my boy I can’t decide if this is the best massage I’ve had at Le Duyen or the worst as there was obviously no way she was going to try and top it off.  She proceeded to position herself to where her co-worker couldn’t quite see what she was doing, then placed my hand right on her rack… They were tucked away but, I must say, felt like some pretty nice jugs.  We exchanged phone numbers, she said she’d come to the club, then, of course, flaked out! I’ll be back for her…

I had about 30% left on a bottle  at Lush which I had to use up so we got my favorite little booth by the DJ. The night was pretty packed, sadly, without a lot of cuties.  There was one, well, not such a cutie, but none-the-less, a girl who just kept staring at my friend.  She started with a toast, then set her bag at the table, then started rubbing up on my friend, then tried to make out with him… Big Mal wasn’t having any of it though as she had a little too much resemblance to the grim reaper.

The week got even stranger as we went to this new massage place.  I’m gonna have to go back as I’m an idiot and didn’t take a card so I don’t remember the exact name or the exact address.  This place was a trip.  5-10 security outside even though it looked normal enough.  VIP room was only 200,000 VND ($11 USD) so we tried that out.  Inside the room was steam, sauna and a jacuzzi tub.  The girl was super frisky, although, a bit annoying as she wanted to talk a lot more than I did.  The bath was great though… She stripped me down, gave a little hand rub, then proceeded to wash EVERY part of me.  Best bath I’ve had since my soapie in Phuket!  Then, it got weird. I had the TV on, sadly watching Federer get ousted from Wimbledon.  Her massage was awful and only lasted about 10 minutes.  When she had enough rubbing, she started licking using this weird fast motion.  And she licked everywhere.  I’d tell her to stop, and she’d just start somewhere else, everywhere but the one spot I wanted her to.  I don’t know about you but I’m not really a fan of someone licking my toes or my ass.  Finally, I just gently grabbed her by the head and eased her over to the preferred area.  And yes, she did finish up the job as any good girl should.  Freaking weird place though.  My boy Texas C said he had the same experience there with the licking.  I guess that’s their M.O.

It couldn’t get any weirder though when we went back to my favorite spot, Tram Trim.  White Boy Barry, my tennis partner in crime and self professed alcoholic, only drank one beer.  What the hell is this world coming to!

The Kid Who Jacked My Air Hockey Paddle

June 30, 2010 § Leave a comment


Sorya Mall Cambodian Kid

The Kid Who Jacked Me

I think it’s a sign that I’m just not really meant to have kids!  Between my mischievous ways, notorious travel habit, and sense of selfish irresponsibility, it’s probably just not going to happen.  This past weekend, with my friend in town we headed out to Phnom Penh.  The last ten days were just brutal so I really haven’t written as much as I liked.  The ten day agenda went something like this — Angeles City – 2 days, Manila – 2 days – Saigon 3 days (1 day was rest) – Phnom Penh– 3 days.  Each day was somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 shots of vodka (rest days not included).

I did my best to rally hard for Phnom Penh, being the end of the adventure with my friend from the US.  We pretty much hopped every bar on streets 136 and 8 but just ended up at my usual spot, the 69 bar.  I wish i could post my boys pic on line as he literally was getting a 10 hand massage (that’s 5 chicks for those of you still trying to get by 2nd grade math).  I snuggled up with three of the same girls I hooked up with on my last trip.  We bounced around for a bit, ended up back at 69 where I proceeded to bar fine 4 girls for $28 to head to the club.  This time we checked out a “hi-so” club (my local buddy’s phrase for high society) called Platinum.  Bottle of Smirnoff was still only $40.  Other liquor was all pretty cheap as well.  If you’re like me and enjoy clubs and the GFE(girl friend experience) the bar/bar fine/clubbing route is not a bad way to go.

Back to the kid… We were supposed to leave after two nights but the bus was packed and I was seriously hung over after two straight nights with the same agenda.  On the way back to the Lux Riverside, I got a text from a girl by the name of Leak from the Rose bar. After lying in bed for 2 hours motionless, I decided some pizza with her and her sister was a good way to go.  Be forewarned fellas who haven’t traveled much, girls from the bars look a LOT different when you meet them at night than they will when you see them the next day.  Liquor, lighting and make up are a man’s worst enemies when it comes to scouting talent!  We met up with the girls at Sorya mall and got a couple of pies at the Pizza Company.  After that, the girls wanted to head upstairs and play some games.  Another FYI — if you want to make an Asian girl happy, load up your iPhone with a bunch of games, suggest playing games at the mall, and have a nintendo wii back in your room!  It all started out harmless enough with some air hockey.  My friend played Leak’s sister and I just observed.  After the first couple points, a small crowd of kids and adults had gathered around to watch this big ol black dude and tiny little Cambodian girl battle it out.  When it was my turn to play, we got to just a couple points each when the puck slid off the table.  The cute kid in the pic picked it up, set it back down, the proceeded to grab the paddle out of my hand.  I looked across the table and, same same, his homie straight jacked my girl without a word being said… Gangsta.  I thought about throwing down but my head was still buzzing from the night before and i really didn’t want to get my ass kicked by an 8 year old.

Next up was the roller coaster… well, sort of.  The girls talked me into these $4 tickets to some “game” as they called it.  I thought it was some crazy shooter or something and didn’t pay much mind, well, it was a damn roller coaster simulator!  Drinking 8/10 nights and pizza is a BAD combination to pair up with a roller coaster simulator… 3 minutes later I was thanking the powers above that we were on the way back to the hotel to watch TV as she suggested.  3 sessions later, she was headed home in the morning and I was on the way to the car we rented and feeling much better! And… she didn’t even ask me for money!  Amazing, there is love in the world.  Being the nice guy I am I still dropped her a $50 and told her to buy her mom something cool.

Moral of the story, girls will like you a lot more if you actually have fun with them, even if that fun comes at the expense of your man hood being jacked away by an 8 year old!

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