Vung Tizzle Gangstas

December 26, 2011 § Leave a comment


As I was driving to Vung Tau (a local beach in Vietnam, not beautiful, but fun as hell) I threw on an old play list on my ipod labeled Gangsta… I know, I know, I grew up in the suburbs so I can’t say I know much about the life but… I must say, there is some serious wisdom found in the lyrics of the prestigious rap group known as the Ghetto Boys… See below…

For those of you travelling to SE Asia for the first time, looking for love, keep in mind one thing, you gotta let a ho be a ho… Now, that’s not to say all girls are hos, but, for the most part, if you are here on a quick hit holiday, you can be sure girls you meet know as much and will most likely treat you accordingly.

But that’s not really the point of my post!

Vung Tau has emerged as a pretty fun town for foreigners looking to get away and throw down some liquor and mack down some girls.  The food is awesome, Be sure to check out David’s Italian restaurant on the waterfront if you’re looking to take a break from Asian food. The dude’s actually Italian and is there every day making home made past, tiramisu and some authentic pizza.

Christmas in Vietnam is surprisingly festive.  Christmas Eve is quite possibly the biggest party night of the year, bars get off on dressing their girls in Santa outfits and there is actually some good deep fried turkey to be found at places like the Black Cat.

After an all nighter watching football, we decided to roll up to Vung Tau on Christmas day.  It was a quick hit as work called but we did manage to get in a few spots.  Here is the agenda I recommend…

Arrive Offshore 2 Hotel & Bar – $25 a night, big clean rooms, swimming pool and a cool bar with a few girls

Rex Hotel Massage – Right around the corner is the Rex hotel.  Let’s just say you can get full serviced satisfaction in a pretty clean, massage type environment.  (200,000 for the massage, 500,000 to 1,000,000 for the service.)  On a cold night in Korea last year we were killing time before the club so we decided to venture into a full service room salon.  Once you achieve that level of relaxation, gaming up civilians becomes much less intimidating.  My boy KDizzle mandating that every night begin as such… nuff said.

Offshore 1 – next door to the Rex is another hotel/bar combo we like.  Same owner as offshore 2, not as nice, but cheaper.  Friday night bbq at 7pm is off the hook, 100,000 VND ($5) for a nice spread.

The 411 on Offshore 1 & 2 – Drinks are pretty reasonable. I buy bottles for around 1,000,000 VND ($50).  You gotta be careful when you buy girl drinks though.  The most economical is to buy the girl bottle which is about 200,000 VND ($10) more but that allows the girls to drink with you.  Otherwise, drinks are anywhere from 50,000 ($2.50) a beer to 175,000 VND ($8.50).  The girls will try to hit you up as that’s how they get paid.  It adds up quick so i suggest going the bottle route or the beer only route.  If you don’t buy girl drinks, you won’t be a popular dude.  The girls aren’t too hot these days (note, it all changes from month to month)  but it’s a great home base, pool tables, create your own music playlists, watch a game on tv… If you want to take a girl out, it’s 200,000 VND ($10) on the weeknights and 300,000 VND ($15) on the weekend.  All this gets you is a date, from there the rest is negotiable.  Some are pay for play pros, other are just looking for love in all the wrong places…

The Red Parrot – 6D Le Quy Don — These days the best talent bar wise is definitely at the Parrot.    As with most bars in VT, there is a pool table, bar seating and lots of girls. The only downside to the Parrot is it’s a bit on the pricey side.  Bottles are about the same as anywhere else but the girl drinks can add up quick.  155,000 VND ($7.50) for a cocktail.  The hot ones will hit you up to get them a bottle of wine which is 1,100,000 VND ($55) to 1,300,000 VND ($65) per bottle. If you want to take a girl out, its a one wine bottle minimum.  Like offshore, that just gets you a date, the rest is negotiable.

We def had fun.  I hooked up with a cute little girl who went into this monologue on how she just wants love and was sad she was alone on Christmas.  She proceeded to tell me that she felt like guys could never trust her because she worked at the bar.  But she was just a normal girl who wants love… I took a look at her see through outfit, ass popping out of her g-string panties that were in full view and though to myself, you may not be a ho, but, you are definitely rocking a ho’s uniform, and that’s confusing (Dave Chappelle).

I ended my night at 5am holding hands with this girl on the beach.  The beach is a trip… Some dude was selling seafood and drinks streetside and he basically set us up a little table and chairs on the beach.  pretty cool… My night ended with a kiss on the cheek and about $200 poorer.

As I dropped her off, I was thinking to myself how much more expensive things are when you opt for romance over pay for play.

Sometimes you’re better off to just Let a Ho be a Ho…

 

Let a Ho Be a Ho — the Ghetto Boys.

There seems to be a lot of mother fuckers blind to the fact

That a ho is gonna be just that

And this type of ignorance is the very

Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetery

Intelligence is on call

You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves like a dog

Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger?

Then you’re a ho assed nigga

Goddamned hound

Pound for pound

You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town

She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow

But your trick ass fell in love with the ho

Tried to change her, make her be an angel

You keep putting your damn life in danger

Frontin’ niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Here’s something that I’d like to know (what?)

Why you take that ho, everywhere you go?

You walk around the club wit’ the ho in front

Tryin’ to keep up with that nasty assed cunt

You say you’re captain, but yo’ ship she’s sinkin’

As soon as you turn your back, the ho is blinkin’

Winkin’ her eye at another nigga

But you got her locked down, so you figure

Ho wears your jewelry every goddamned day,

But nigga, you just got the ho on display

Wouldn’t let her be herself, cause you’s a goddamned wimp

Now you know why hos date pimps

She’s a rhinestone freak 5 days a week,

But you get mad when niggas pop on her ass

Goddamned slutty ho, the bars are loaded

Don’t try to change her

You let the ho be a ho!

 

Shes a ho, (D how the fuck you know?)

Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro

Shes the type of ho that’s bound

To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around

Shes the kinda ho that’ll make you cry

The kinda ho you have to call before you come by

So why you wanna kill when she says no more

You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore

Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/XJY

Crazy motherfuckers fighting over hos

Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows

If a ho wants out I let her stank ass go

Cos I’ma let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Now do y’all follow me so muthafuckin’ far?

 

Geto Boys:

Yeah!

 

Akshen:

Hell yeah. I remember I was with this ho named Kim.

Let her use my car. Bitch went to go see another nigga. I damn

near killed that ho!

 

Willie D:

I fucked that ho, man!

 

Akshen:

You a mutafuckin’ lie!

 

Willie D:

I ain’t bullshittin’! Didn’t I, Bushwick and Red?

 

Dj Ready Read:

He went up in that bitch, man!

 

Bushwick Bill:

On the for rilla, my nigga.

 

Willie D:

Akshen, I’m telling you man…

 

I fucked that ho before you even knew her

Made her pussy go brrrrr when I stuck my dick to her

I knew she was a ho the first time I met her

So I got another ho and took them to the other level of the game

Got them high as a kite

And fucked both of those hoes that goddamned night

Then I sat back and relaxed

As they 69ed and ate each others cats

I dropped them off at home

God damn look at this shit my wallets gone

The hoes beat me but I left it alone

And used that shit as a stepping stone

I played it off the next time I saw the hoe

I just laughed and fucked her ass some more

She licked my ass and sucked my balls

And if I see her right now I can get some more

You gotta let a ho be a ho

 

Spoken:

Willie D:

Yeah, buddy. Willie D ain’t gonna let none of these hos

get him down. I ain’t cryin’ or dyin’ over none of you hos. I

ain’t buyin’ you no leather. I ain’t buyin’ you no suede, no

jewelery, no contacts, Lee Nails. I ain’t buyin’ you no hair, no

makeup, food, none of that good shit!

 

Bushwick Bill:

Tell ’em D!

 

Outro:

You gotta let a ho be a ho.

The Lazy Eyed Killa

November 5, 2010 § 1 Comment


Lazy Eyed KillaHalloween weekend has gotten to be a pretty fun time to be in Saigon.  The Vietnamese have really taken to the holiday and clubs are putting on some decent parties. If you’re looking for a time to come out here, I recommend it.  It’s not as busy yet with the VK tourists, weather is cooler and there are a lot of parties around the American Holiday.  Only drawback is it’s a little rainy.  If you’re like me though, you don’t do a whole lot outside and personally, I’d trade the rain for the mobs of tourists anyday.

Personally, I didn’t really do a whole lot as I’ve been keeping it on the DL a bit — the j.o.b really inhibits my blogging ambitions.  The Sunday night of Halloween though my boy Big Mal came back from his sex tour, I mean sight-seeing holiday of the PI, Thailand and Cambodia. On cue, he was ready to roll with one of his boys he met in Brazil, Bigger E, who could be the biggest guy to ever hit Vietnam.  I figured we’d check out the “Sexy” Halloween party at Lush where it’s pretty easy for me to get a good table.  And, of course, every new person to town has to start off at my favorite joint Tram Trim, the Vietnamese Hooters.  After about 15 minutes of drinking, I noticed a new girl I hadn’t seen before that was looking real nice from a distance.  The body was absolutely ripe (the pic doesn’t really do her justice as the booty was off the chain…  My boys, especially Bigger E, were all about it so I called her over for a little drink.  Turns out she had only been working there for 3 weeks so she had that fresh innocence about her.  After some random chit chat, she wandered back to the table she was serving and my boy the Hit Man was like “damn, she’s cross eyed”!  Bigger E couldn’t believe it as his eyes never got past her rack.  Upon further inspection though, turns out it was just a lazy eye!

Lazy Eye or not, she still had a killa body and nice skin so on my request, the Hit Man got her digits and invited her out to the club with us.  Which, get’s me to the point of this blog entry.  If you aren’t going straight pay for play, and, you are at a place where the girls are waitresses, hostesses, or even at karaoke, the best thing you can do is figure out how long they’ve worked there.  Typically, in the first few months, it’s still new.  Going out is fun, meeting people is fun and the money, while it’s still their objective, is not the only thing on their mind.  Once they pass that initial stage of intrigue, what you have left is a girl that’s hit on 3-5 times a day by scrubs, is tired of drinking with loser guys, and really just wants to make her money and bounce.  So if you want to try to prove you got game, are looking for the G.F.E. and aren’t trying to climb Mt. Everest, stick with newer girls.  The reverse of that is if you’re going pay for play and just want performance, remember, while there is some genetic influence on a girl’s sexual prowess, at the end of the day, Experience = Performance.

At Lush that night, the Lazy Eyed Killa showed up, but, so did my girlfriend which intensified my game 10 fold as she couldn’t stop looking my girl.  Her observations revealed four things: 1) she’s hot,  2) she was rocking  some nice clothes 3) she was rocking a new iphone, 4) we get along extremely well and she was smiling, laughing and dancing the whole time we were there.  Lesson #2, in Asia, girls’ don’t give a shit if you have a girlfriend or if you have other girls with you.  In fact, their competitive juices flow and, if you’ve got your girl laced properly, their jealousy flows as well. I paid another visit to Tram Trim as my new homie, the Bigger E wanted to do his last supper there.  I’d say with 90% confidence that if the Hit Man doesn’t do her first, I’ll probably have to when I get back from this two week trip to the desert, I mean the USA… Special Shout out to Season Three of Curb Your Enthusiasm – While I’m not a huge fan of the show, watch the Crazy Eyed Killa Episode and you’ll get 30 good minutes of laughter and an extra chuckle at the expense of my new found friend the Lazy Eyed Killa…

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