December 26, 2011 § Leave a comment
As I was driving to Vung Tau (a local beach in Vietnam, not beautiful, but fun as hell) I threw on an old play list on my ipod labeled Gangsta… I know, I know, I grew up in the suburbs so I can’t say I know much about the life but… I must say, there is some serious wisdom found in the lyrics of the prestigious rap group known as the Ghetto Boys… See below…
For those of you travelling to SE Asia for the first time, looking for love, keep in mind one thing, you gotta let a ho be a ho… Now, that’s not to say all girls are hos, but, for the most part, if you are here on a quick hit holiday, you can be sure girls you meet know as much and will most likely treat you accordingly.
But that’s not really the point of my post!
Vung Tau has emerged as a pretty fun town for foreigners looking to get away and throw down some liquor and mack down some girls. The food is awesome, Be sure to check out David’s Italian restaurant on the waterfront if you’re looking to take a break from Asian food. The dude’s actually Italian and is there every day making home made past, tiramisu and some authentic pizza.
Christmas in Vietnam is surprisingly festive. Christmas Eve is quite possibly the biggest party night of the year, bars get off on dressing their girls in Santa outfits and there is actually some good deep fried turkey to be found at places like the Black Cat.
After an all nighter watching football, we decided to roll up to Vung Tau on Christmas day. It was a quick hit as work called but we did manage to get in a few spots. Here is the agenda I recommend…
Arrive Offshore 2 Hotel & Bar – $25 a night, big clean rooms, swimming pool and a cool bar with a few girls
Rex Hotel Massage – Right around the corner is the Rex hotel. Let’s just say you can get full serviced satisfaction in a pretty clean, massage type environment. (200,000 for the massage, 500,000 to 1,000,000 for the service.) On a cold night in Korea last year we were killing time before the club so we decided to venture into a full service room salon. Once you achieve that level of relaxation, gaming up civilians becomes much less intimidating. My boy KDizzle mandating that every night begin as such… nuff said.
Offshore 1 – next door to the Rex is another hotel/bar combo we like. Same owner as offshore 2, not as nice, but cheaper. Friday night bbq at 7pm is off the hook, 100,000 VND ($5) for a nice spread.
The 411 on Offshore 1 & 2 – Drinks are pretty reasonable. I buy bottles for around 1,000,000 VND ($50). You gotta be careful when you buy girl drinks though. The most economical is to buy the girl bottle which is about 200,000 VND ($10) more but that allows the girls to drink with you. Otherwise, drinks are anywhere from 50,000 ($2.50) a beer to 175,000 VND ($8.50). The girls will try to hit you up as that’s how they get paid. It adds up quick so i suggest going the bottle route or the beer only route. If you don’t buy girl drinks, you won’t be a popular dude. The girls aren’t too hot these days (note, it all changes from month to month) but it’s a great home base, pool tables, create your own music playlists, watch a game on tv… If you want to take a girl out, it’s 200,000 VND ($10) on the weeknights and 300,000 VND ($15) on the weekend. All this gets you is a date, from there the rest is negotiable. Some are pay for play pros, other are just looking for love in all the wrong places…
The Red Parrot – 6D Le Quy Don — These days the best talent bar wise is definitely at the Parrot. As with most bars in VT, there is a pool table, bar seating and lots of girls. The only downside to the Parrot is it’s a bit on the pricey side. Bottles are about the same as anywhere else but the girl drinks can add up quick. 155,000 VND ($7.50) for a cocktail. The hot ones will hit you up to get them a bottle of wine which is 1,100,000 VND ($55) to 1,300,000 VND ($65) per bottle. If you want to take a girl out, its a one wine bottle minimum. Like offshore, that just gets you a date, the rest is negotiable.
We def had fun. I hooked up with a cute little girl who went into this monologue on how she just wants love and was sad she was alone on Christmas. She proceeded to tell me that she felt like guys could never trust her because she worked at the bar. But she was just a normal girl who wants love… I took a look at her see through outfit, ass popping out of her g-string panties that were in full view and though to myself, you may not be a ho, but, you are definitely rocking a ho’s uniform, and that’s confusing (Dave Chappelle).
I ended my night at 5am holding hands with this girl on the beach. The beach is a trip… Some dude was selling seafood and drinks streetside and he basically set us up a little table and chairs on the beach. pretty cool… My night ended with a kiss on the cheek and about $200 poorer.
As I dropped her off, I was thinking to myself how much more expensive things are when you opt for romance over pay for play.
Sometimes you’re better off to just Let a Ho be a Ho…
Let a Ho Be a Ho — the Ghetto Boys.
There seems to be a lot of mother fuckers blind to the fact
That a ho is gonna be just that
And this type of ignorance is the very
Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetery
Intelligence is on call
You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves like a dog
Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger?
Then you’re a ho assed nigga
Pound for pound
You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town
She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow
But your trick ass fell in love with the ho
Tried to change her, make her be an angel
You keep putting your damn life in danger
Frontin’ niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow
You gotta let a ho be a ho
Here’s something that I’d like to know (what?)
Why you take that ho, everywhere you go?
You walk around the club wit’ the ho in front
Tryin’ to keep up with that nasty assed cunt
You say you’re captain, but yo’ ship she’s sinkin’
As soon as you turn your back, the ho is blinkin’
Winkin’ her eye at another nigga
But you got her locked down, so you figure
Ho wears your jewelry every goddamned day,
But nigga, you just got the ho on display
Wouldn’t let her be herself, cause you’s a goddamned wimp
Now you know why hos date pimps
She’s a rhinestone freak 5 days a week,
But you get mad when niggas pop on her ass
Goddamned slutty ho, the bars are loaded
Don’t try to change her
You let the ho be a ho!
Shes a ho, (D how the fuck you know?)
Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro
Shes the type of ho that’s bound
To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around
Shes the kinda ho that’ll make you cry
The kinda ho you have to call before you come by
So why you wanna kill when she says no more
You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore
Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/XJY
Crazy motherfuckers fighting over hos
Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows
If a ho wants out I let her stank ass go
Cos I’ma let a ho be a ho
Now do y’all follow me so muthafuckin’ far?
Hell yeah. I remember I was with this ho named Kim.
Let her use my car. Bitch went to go see another nigga. I damn
near killed that ho!
I fucked that ho, man!
You a mutafuckin’ lie!
I ain’t bullshittin’! Didn’t I, Bushwick and Red?
Dj Ready Read:
He went up in that bitch, man!
On the for rilla, my nigga.
Akshen, I’m telling you man…
I fucked that ho before you even knew her
Made her pussy go brrrrr when I stuck my dick to her
I knew she was a ho the first time I met her
So I got another ho and took them to the other level of the game
Got them high as a kite
And fucked both of those hoes that goddamned night
Then I sat back and relaxed
As they 69ed and ate each others cats
I dropped them off at home
God damn look at this shit my wallets gone
The hoes beat me but I left it alone
And used that shit as a stepping stone
I played it off the next time I saw the hoe
I just laughed and fucked her ass some more
She licked my ass and sucked my balls
And if I see her right now I can get some more
You gotta let a ho be a ho
Yeah, buddy. Willie D ain’t gonna let none of these hos
get him down. I ain’t cryin’ or dyin’ over none of you hos. I
ain’t buyin’ you no leather. I ain’t buyin’ you no suede, no
jewelery, no contacts, Lee Nails. I ain’t buyin’ you no hair, no
makeup, food, none of that good shit!
Tell ’em D!
You gotta let a ho be a ho.
October 21, 2010 § Leave a comment
I went back to the states for a month and I think that’s what got me in a writing funk as there is next to nothing to do in my hometown. I happened to see Coolio at my buddy’s bar and that was probably the most god-awful thing i’ve ever seen. Well, until I went to Shampoo in Manila last weekend. I did take a trip to Vegas and the Rehab party at the Hard Rock was cool but it’s so far lost in my drunken memory that i can’t write much on it. I have started collecting business cards as I figure a scanned version would be a nice touch for you guys to download and give to cabs. I will get an admin to work on this and will get them all scanned in once I figure out how best to organize.
Since my last post I went to:
Hua Hin – Thailand — this place is quiet. A few bars, some really nice (but not cute girls) and one amazing Italian restaurant called Lo Stivale located at 132 Naresdamri Rd right across from the Hilton. I can’t say enough about this place, old skool Italian guy cooking up a storm. If you want a relaxing trip with a decent beach and a little fun to be had, Hua Hin is not a bad place to go. Bar fines are really cheap and it’s just real laid back and friendly.
Vung Tau – Vietnam — If you want to hit up a local style beach and have a lot of bars to party and find girls, Vung Tao is the place. It’s a quick 1.5 hour boat ride from Saigon so you can easily bolt over and do 1-2 nights. If you want a decent cheap hotel, check out Vitamin C located at 18 Nguyen Truong To Street – The number is (+064) 3553 738. There is a wild karaoke / massage place called the Pacific Club located at 4 Ly Tu Trong street. You can get a karaoke room, get wasted, then go over to massage and, well, you know… I didn’t think too highly of any of the bars. They were ok, but all pretty much the same, fun, drunk nights with decent girls. Good place to party, not a place to find top talent
Bangkok — Hung out on Soi Cowboy a bit as well as Soy 33. BKK is, well, BKK. Found an awesome bar called Mojos on Soi 33. — http://www.mojosbangkok.com — girls were smoking, food was good, live band, not a bad combo. I also highly recommend the IStyle Trend hotel which you can book on agoda.com. Top notch and i paid < $50 a night.
Angeles City — Ah, yes, i went back with my boy Big Mal and his even bigger boy, E. 3 nights there almost killed me. I pretty much stuck with a few spots again, Atlantis, Forbidden City, Genesis, and few others i can’t remember. This trip caused me to want to change the name of my blog as my new motto is Two Bitches and a Bottle — And it’s affordable in Angeles! I stayed at the Wild Orchid because everything was sold out and it was weak. For $100 a night the only good part was the pool. The service sucked, food sucked, and they are putting additional floors on the building so it was extremely loud from noon til 10pm. My sleeping hours!
My boys are in Pattaya now so I”ll try to get a guest post out of them. Next month i’m headed to Guangzhou for the Asia games and possibly Bali so I’ll be sure to get more posts going. I have a lot of pages to update in my business section so I”ll be primarily working on that until November.
peace love and happiness will all happen if you get out of the US