Vung Tizzle Gangstas

December 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

As I was driving to Vung Tau (a local beach in Vietnam, not beautiful, but fun as hell) I threw on an old play list on my ipod labeled Gangsta… I know, I know, I grew up in the suburbs so I can’t say I know much about the life but… I must say, there is some serious wisdom found in the lyrics of the prestigious rap group known as the Ghetto Boys… See below…

For those of you travelling to SE Asia for the first time, looking for love, keep in mind one thing, you gotta let a ho be a ho… Now, that’s not to say all girls are hos, but, for the most part, if you are here on a quick hit holiday, you can be sure girls you meet know as much and will most likely treat you accordingly.

But that’s not really the point of my post!

Vung Tau has emerged as a pretty fun town for foreigners looking to get away and throw down some liquor and mack down some girls.  The food is awesome, Be sure to check out David’s Italian restaurant on the waterfront if you’re looking to take a break from Asian food. The dude’s actually Italian and is there every day making home made past, tiramisu and some authentic pizza.

Christmas in Vietnam is surprisingly festive.  Christmas Eve is quite possibly the biggest party night of the year, bars get off on dressing their girls in Santa outfits and there is actually some good deep fried turkey to be found at places like the Black Cat.

After an all nighter watching football, we decided to roll up to Vung Tau on Christmas day.  It was a quick hit as work called but we did manage to get in a few spots.  Here is the agenda I recommend…

Arrive Offshore 2 Hotel & Bar – $25 a night, big clean rooms, swimming pool and a cool bar with a few girls

Rex Hotel Massage – Right around the corner is the Rex hotel.  Let’s just say you can get full serviced satisfaction in a pretty clean, massage type environment.  (200,000 for the massage, 500,000 to 1,000,000 for the service.)  On a cold night in Korea last year we were killing time before the club so we decided to venture into a full service room salon.  Once you achieve that level of relaxation, gaming up civilians becomes much less intimidating.  My boy KDizzle mandating that every night begin as such… nuff said.

Offshore 1 – next door to the Rex is another hotel/bar combo we like.  Same owner as offshore 2, not as nice, but cheaper.  Friday night bbq at 7pm is off the hook, 100,000 VND ($5) for a nice spread.

The 411 on Offshore 1 & 2 – Drinks are pretty reasonable. I buy bottles for around 1,000,000 VND ($50).  You gotta be careful when you buy girl drinks though.  The most economical is to buy the girl bottle which is about 200,000 VND ($10) more but that allows the girls to drink with you.  Otherwise, drinks are anywhere from 50,000 ($2.50) a beer to 175,000 VND ($8.50).  The girls will try to hit you up as that’s how they get paid.  It adds up quick so i suggest going the bottle route or the beer only route.  If you don’t buy girl drinks, you won’t be a popular dude.  The girls aren’t too hot these days (note, it all changes from month to month)  but it’s a great home base, pool tables, create your own music playlists, watch a game on tv… If you want to take a girl out, it’s 200,000 VND ($10) on the weeknights and 300,000 VND ($15) on the weekend.  All this gets you is a date, from there the rest is negotiable.  Some are pay for play pros, other are just looking for love in all the wrong places…

The Red Parrot – 6D Le Quy Don — These days the best talent bar wise is definitely at the Parrot.    As with most bars in VT, there is a pool table, bar seating and lots of girls. The only downside to the Parrot is it’s a bit on the pricey side.  Bottles are about the same as anywhere else but the girl drinks can add up quick.  155,000 VND ($7.50) for a cocktail.  The hot ones will hit you up to get them a bottle of wine which is 1,100,000 VND ($55) to 1,300,000 VND ($65) per bottle. If you want to take a girl out, its a one wine bottle minimum.  Like offshore, that just gets you a date, the rest is negotiable.

We def had fun.  I hooked up with a cute little girl who went into this monologue on how she just wants love and was sad she was alone on Christmas.  She proceeded to tell me that she felt like guys could never trust her because she worked at the bar.  But she was just a normal girl who wants love… I took a look at her see through outfit, ass popping out of her g-string panties that were in full view and though to myself, you may not be a ho, but, you are definitely rocking a ho’s uniform, and that’s confusing (Dave Chappelle).

I ended my night at 5am holding hands with this girl on the beach.  The beach is a trip… Some dude was selling seafood and drinks streetside and he basically set us up a little table and chairs on the beach.  pretty cool… My night ended with a kiss on the cheek and about $200 poorer.

As I dropped her off, I was thinking to myself how much more expensive things are when you opt for romance over pay for play.

Sometimes you’re better off to just Let a Ho be a Ho…


Let a Ho Be a Ho — the Ghetto Boys.

There seems to be a lot of mother fuckers blind to the fact

That a ho is gonna be just that

And this type of ignorance is the very

Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetery

Intelligence is on call

You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves like a dog

Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger?

Then you’re a ho assed nigga

Goddamned hound

Pound for pound

You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town

She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow

But your trick ass fell in love with the ho

Tried to change her, make her be an angel

You keep putting your damn life in danger

Frontin’ niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow

You gotta let a ho be a ho


Here’s something that I’d like to know (what?)

Why you take that ho, everywhere you go?

You walk around the club wit’ the ho in front

Tryin’ to keep up with that nasty assed cunt

You say you’re captain, but yo’ ship she’s sinkin’

As soon as you turn your back, the ho is blinkin’

Winkin’ her eye at another nigga

But you got her locked down, so you figure

Ho wears your jewelry every goddamned day,

But nigga, you just got the ho on display

Wouldn’t let her be herself, cause you’s a goddamned wimp

Now you know why hos date pimps

She’s a rhinestone freak 5 days a week,

But you get mad when niggas pop on her ass

Goddamned slutty ho, the bars are loaded

Don’t try to change her

You let the ho be a ho!


Shes a ho, (D how the fuck you know?)

Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro

Shes the type of ho that’s bound

To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around

Shes the kinda ho that’ll make you cry

The kinda ho you have to call before you come by

So why you wanna kill when she says no more

You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore

Find more similar lyrics on

Crazy motherfuckers fighting over hos

Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows

If a ho wants out I let her stank ass go

Cos I’ma let a ho be a ho



Willie D:

Now do y’all follow me so muthafuckin’ far?


Geto Boys:




Hell yeah. I remember I was with this ho named Kim.

Let her use my car. Bitch went to go see another nigga. I damn

near killed that ho!


Willie D:

I fucked that ho, man!



You a mutafuckin’ lie!


Willie D:

I ain’t bullshittin’! Didn’t I, Bushwick and Red?


Dj Ready Read:

He went up in that bitch, man!


Bushwick Bill:

On the for rilla, my nigga.


Willie D:

Akshen, I’m telling you man…


I fucked that ho before you even knew her

Made her pussy go brrrrr when I stuck my dick to her

I knew she was a ho the first time I met her

So I got another ho and took them to the other level of the game

Got them high as a kite

And fucked both of those hoes that goddamned night

Then I sat back and relaxed

As they 69ed and ate each others cats

I dropped them off at home

God damn look at this shit my wallets gone

The hoes beat me but I left it alone

And used that shit as a stepping stone

I played it off the next time I saw the hoe

I just laughed and fucked her ass some more

She licked my ass and sucked my balls

And if I see her right now I can get some more

You gotta let a ho be a ho



Willie D:

Yeah, buddy. Willie D ain’t gonna let none of these hos

get him down. I ain’t cryin’ or dyin’ over none of you hos. I

ain’t buyin’ you no leather. I ain’t buyin’ you no suede, no

jewelery, no contacts, Lee Nails. I ain’t buyin’ you no hair, no

makeup, food, none of that good shit!


Bushwick Bill:

Tell ’em D!



You gotta let a ho be a ho.

Cackling Hens Make For a Terrible Lunch

June 8, 2010 § Leave a comment

I went to bed last night at 4am working with clients, checking out the new iPhone, chatting with friends back home.  If it wasn’t for tennis this morning I probably would have pulled an all nighter as a new episode of Breaking Bad was available to download.  Suffice to say after an hours of tennis in the sun after next to no sleep, I wasn’t in a great mood but, I did have a lunch appointment with one of my managers at the Dragon Hot pot.  Much to my chagrin, our table upstairs was situated next to about 15 Malaysian chicks.  This would normally be great, except for the fact it was some strange mix of old and young, goth and Muslim, with a common denominator, LOUD and UGLY.  These chicks were all rocking black, 1/3rd with matching black head wraps.  One had a hair do that resembled Billy Idol.  It was bad.  Every 5 minutes felt like New Year’s 1999 at an animal shelter full critters deathly scared by the fireworks. To top it all off, the upstairs is a mezzanine, which gets filled with smokey air from the hot pots below.  For some reason I could not comprehend, the staff said they couldn’t turn on the ceiling fans so I was definitely hot and uncomfortable.

So, i can’t really give a great review as even a minor delay in service was the cause of a major headache.  The food was ok.  I’ve yet to find really good teriyaki here so, with that as the bar, I’d say the teriyaki lunch set is worth having.  I”ll probably go back again during off hours, sit downstairs, and stay far away from any sign of Malaysian women.

Teriyaki Chicken

Teriyaki Chicken

Not Your Typical Saturday Night in Saigon

June 6, 2010 § Leave a comment

Interesting Party Concept in Saigon

I woke up late on Sunday angry because i thought i missed the Laker’s game.  Called my girl, she said, “is it Sunday” (meaning, is the game on Sunday) and i responded, “i’m so stupid, today is only Saturday”… She was confused but I was so convincing I had her believing it was still Saturday… Then i realized, there is no way an all day pool party could have been on Friday night?  Anyway, that’s how messed up we got the night before!

A week before i saw this post for a pool party.  Sounded interesting but, I was a bit wary as those are usually expat central which means, lots of loud foreigners and typically much uglier girls.  My buddy hit me up though on the day of and suggested we check it out.  I was like, “are you kidding, it’s raining”, to which he responded “what else are we gonna do?”.  At 5 in the afternoon on a Saturday, it was a point well taken.  So, we rolled out there, paid our 250,000 (about $13) VND to get in and checked it out… What didn’t surprise me was there were almost no people there.  The pleasant surprise was that out of the 50 people there, 35 were probably girls!  The other nice thing was a bottle of SKY Vodka with 4 chaser cans was only 450,000VND ($23).  Say no more!  We posted up on some lawn chairs under a tarp, chatted up some of the PR girls and had a pretty fun time.  There was supposed to be a bikini contest which we never saw.  Typical in Vietnam, they schedule a million things for an event, then, everything is either late, or just doesn’t happen.  The highlight of the night was my buddy picking up our waitress and jumping in the pool… Good times.  I don’t personally know the guys who threw this event, but, you can keep up with them online, info below.

We left there about 7:30pm, went back to my place for a quick shower and, of course, some Hangar Lime for the road, then headed off to VIP Karaoke where we had an expiring bottle.  If you’re staying in Vietnam for an extended time, keep an eye out for the expiration dates on any bottles you leave as they are usually 1 to 3 months. VIP Karaoke is a bit on the upscale side.  Nice, pretty classy.  The girls sit with you and drink but are typically not take home girls.  If you’ve got enough game, you might be able to talk them into going out with you… Getting a phone number is par for the course so don’t get too excited about that.  Most places the girls make money when you book a room/table with them so, expect them to call you.  You know you got game if they actually go hang out with you and don’t just call to say “i miss you, i want to see you, you come here”.

One more bottle later, my buddy talked me into going to X Club, a hot, trendy, local Vietnamese style club.  Loud techno / dance music is par for the course at these places.  Girls are pretty hot but, it’s a bit hard to meet them as they are usually in groups and, if they can afford to go there are either prostitutes or have some guys footing the bill.  We had a couple bottles already so it was all to the good.  The place is expensive though.  Chasers are about $4 each can, bottles anywhere from $80-$300 each.  Fruit plates and things of that nature will really add up too so if you’re on a budget, be careful what you are ordering.

Venue Details

Wet and Wild Pool Party –

VIP Karaoke

  • Address — not exactly sure — on Nguyen Dinh Chieu Street about 1 block from Cach Manh Tang 8

X Club (also known to the locals  as 030 (khong ba khong)

  • Address: 58, Ton That Thiep Street, District 1

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