Saigon Goes High End

January 28, 2012 § 2 Comments

Over the last year Saigon has been on this trend of opening up high end establishments.  From what I’ve seen so far, most of them haven’t done too well.  High end is not really my thing as it pains me to spend $10-$20 on a drink but, sometimes you gotta just step up and enjoy.

The Martini Bar at the Hyatt is one high end place that has now lasted over a year.  If that’s your thing, definitely stop by Thursday through Saturday as there are some hotties.

Last weekend we did a little Bui run, then took a couple of girls to the newest hotspot in town, Chill.

Most normal local girls haven’t been to Chill, nor have they ever seen anything quite like it yet so if you’re reading this post with any timeliness, it’s definitely a way to score on a date as there is no doubt they will be impressed.  The outdoor bar has an amazing view of the city and there are plenty of “corners” to snuggle up with your girl…

So if you’re willing to spend some loot to run some game, i suggest you grab your favorite massage or karaoke girl and Chill


The Lazy Eyed Killa

November 5, 2010 § 1 Comment

Lazy Eyed KillaHalloween weekend has gotten to be a pretty fun time to be in Saigon.  The Vietnamese have really taken to the holiday and clubs are putting on some decent parties. If you’re looking for a time to come out here, I recommend it.  It’s not as busy yet with the VK tourists, weather is cooler and there are a lot of parties around the American Holiday.  Only drawback is it’s a little rainy.  If you’re like me though, you don’t do a whole lot outside and personally, I’d trade the rain for the mobs of tourists anyday.

Personally, I didn’t really do a whole lot as I’ve been keeping it on the DL a bit — the j.o.b really inhibits my blogging ambitions.  The Sunday night of Halloween though my boy Big Mal came back from his sex tour, I mean sight-seeing holiday of the PI, Thailand and Cambodia. On cue, he was ready to roll with one of his boys he met in Brazil, Bigger E, who could be the biggest guy to ever hit Vietnam.  I figured we’d check out the “Sexy” Halloween party at Lush where it’s pretty easy for me to get a good table.  And, of course, every new person to town has to start off at my favorite joint Tram Trim, the Vietnamese Hooters.  After about 15 minutes of drinking, I noticed a new girl I hadn’t seen before that was looking real nice from a distance.  The body was absolutely ripe (the pic doesn’t really do her justice as the booty was off the chain…  My boys, especially Bigger E, were all about it so I called her over for a little drink.  Turns out she had only been working there for 3 weeks so she had that fresh innocence about her.  After some random chit chat, she wandered back to the table she was serving and my boy the Hit Man was like “damn, she’s cross eyed”!  Bigger E couldn’t believe it as his eyes never got past her rack.  Upon further inspection though, turns out it was just a lazy eye!

Lazy Eye or not, she still had a killa body and nice skin so on my request, the Hit Man got her digits and invited her out to the club with us.  Which, get’s me to the point of this blog entry.  If you aren’t going straight pay for play, and, you are at a place where the girls are waitresses, hostesses, or even at karaoke, the best thing you can do is figure out how long they’ve worked there.  Typically, in the first few months, it’s still new.  Going out is fun, meeting people is fun and the money, while it’s still their objective, is not the only thing on their mind.  Once they pass that initial stage of intrigue, what you have left is a girl that’s hit on 3-5 times a day by scrubs, is tired of drinking with loser guys, and really just wants to make her money and bounce.  So if you want to try to prove you got game, are looking for the G.F.E. and aren’t trying to climb Mt. Everest, stick with newer girls.  The reverse of that is if you’re going pay for play and just want performance, remember, while there is some genetic influence on a girl’s sexual prowess, at the end of the day, Experience = Performance.

At Lush that night, the Lazy Eyed Killa showed up, but, so did my girlfriend which intensified my game 10 fold as she couldn’t stop looking my girl.  Her observations revealed four things: 1) she’s hot,  2) she was rocking  some nice clothes 3) she was rocking a new iphone, 4) we get along extremely well and she was smiling, laughing and dancing the whole time we were there.  Lesson #2, in Asia, girls’ don’t give a shit if you have a girlfriend or if you have other girls with you.  In fact, their competitive juices flow and, if you’ve got your girl laced properly, their jealousy flows as well. I paid another visit to Tram Trim as my new homie, the Bigger E wanted to do his last supper there.  I’d say with 90% confidence that if the Hit Man doesn’t do her first, I’ll probably have to when I get back from this two week trip to the desert, I mean the USA… Special Shout out to Season Three of Curb Your Enthusiasm – While I’m not a huge fan of the show, watch the Crazy Eyed Killa Episode and you’ll get 30 good minutes of laughter and an extra chuckle at the expense of my new found friend the Lazy Eyed Killa…

Saigon’s Got Me Twisted

July 2, 2010 § 3 Comments

This was just a bizarre week.  It all started with my boy Big Mal who couldn’t get a flight back to the US as he’s doing the budget traveler on mileage thing so what I thought would be recovery time ended up resulting in a few more nights out. The result of that was another ladies night at Lush. One of my favorite M.O.s is to hit up massage or a beer garden where the girls get off between 8-10:30 and then try to get them to come out clubbing. I figured, what better place than Le Duyen 4. Le Duyen is a little tricky, the girls there are expert flirts and they lie through their teeth about going out… just the type of challenge I like!  As I was deciding which girl I wanted to mack on, a group of 15+ Chinese dudes came in and went straight upstairs.  This left me with one little newbie clingy to my arm so I figured, wtf, might as well give her a shot.  This is where things got strange… She started my head wash with a kiss on my lips which took me by complete surprise, especially since my eyes were closed.  For those of you who have never been to Le Duyen, this is extremely bizarre.  They flirt, but never do anything, especially with people around.  She ended my head wash by biting my chin. With her clinging to my arm, we headed upstairs to the massage room.

Typically, if you go with a friend, you get a room shared by the two of you.  With Big Mal and his girl on the table next to me, my girl started my massage.  Once she got to my legs I had to do a double take and make sure I wasn’t in My Anh down the street as she wasn’t too concerned with a typical massage but seemed much more focused on my nuts.  I told my boy I can’t decide if this is the best massage I’ve had at Le Duyen or the worst as there was obviously no way she was going to try and top it off.  She proceeded to position herself to where her co-worker couldn’t quite see what she was doing, then placed my hand right on her rack… They were tucked away but, I must say, felt like some pretty nice jugs.  We exchanged phone numbers, she said she’d come to the club, then, of course, flaked out! I’ll be back for her…

I had about 30% left on a bottle  at Lush which I had to use up so we got my favorite little booth by the DJ. The night was pretty packed, sadly, without a lot of cuties.  There was one, well, not such a cutie, but none-the-less, a girl who just kept staring at my friend.  She started with a toast, then set her bag at the table, then started rubbing up on my friend, then tried to make out with him… Big Mal wasn’t having any of it though as she had a little too much resemblance to the grim reaper.

The week got even stranger as we went to this new massage place.  I’m gonna have to go back as I’m an idiot and didn’t take a card so I don’t remember the exact name or the exact address.  This place was a trip.  5-10 security outside even though it looked normal enough.  VIP room was only 200,000 VND ($11 USD) so we tried that out.  Inside the room was steam, sauna and a jacuzzi tub.  The girl was super frisky, although, a bit annoying as she wanted to talk a lot more than I did.  The bath was great though… She stripped me down, gave a little hand rub, then proceeded to wash EVERY part of me.  Best bath I’ve had since my soapie in Phuket!  Then, it got weird. I had the TV on, sadly watching Federer get ousted from Wimbledon.  Her massage was awful and only lasted about 10 minutes.  When she had enough rubbing, she started licking using this weird fast motion.  And she licked everywhere.  I’d tell her to stop, and she’d just start somewhere else, everywhere but the one spot I wanted her to.  I don’t know about you but I’m not really a fan of someone licking my toes or my ass.  Finally, I just gently grabbed her by the head and eased her over to the preferred area.  And yes, she did finish up the job as any good girl should.  Freaking weird place though.  My boy Texas C said he had the same experience there with the licking.  I guess that’s their M.O.

It couldn’t get any weirder though when we went back to my favorite spot, Tram Trim.  White Boy Barry, my tennis partner in crime and self professed alcoholic, only drank one beer.  What the hell is this world coming to!

Can I Slap Your Kids?

June 10, 2010 § Leave a comment

Best Way to Ruin a Meal

This is the second day this week I’ve been aggravated to death while dining. It started with a few screams from the corner as I was ordering my chicken sandwich. A quick glance revealed a birthday party of about 20 + kids. Now, at this point, they hadn’t gotten their food yet so it wasn’t too bad, but, they were sitting pumping sugar into their veins gulping down their cokes. I didn’t think too much of it, went back to my seat and joined my 4 other friends. We proceeded to eat a pretty sorry excuse for Cajun style food. If you do feel like fast food in Saigon, and, insist on going to Popeyes, stick with the very basic chicken thighs or drumsticks. Beyond that, it was basically garbage. Chicken sandwich, chicken tenders, and seafood mix were all pretty bad unless you like unflavored grease soaked food.

Towards the end of the meal, I heard this super loud explosion and was sure terrorists were going after the new Vincom center. Suffice to say, it was just some kids popping their balloons. Within minutes, there were swarms of them around us, bumping into our chairs and knocking balloons onto the middle of our table. All the while, the parents just sat as if nothing was going on. The Singaporean manager looked like he was about to have a heart attack. All I could see in his eyes were thoughts of caning this little rodents.

As we got up to leave, this one little girl was staring us down. For a minute, I thought I saw the Vietnamese version of Bebe’s kids. No sooner than we were out of our chairs did i see what she was really after, it wasn’t our wallets, it was our Coke! Yes, she proceeded to quickly pounce on our table, anticipating the arrival of the boy who had asked 10 times already to clear it in the middle of our meal.

So, just a little warning. If you haven’t been to China or Vietnam, you will quickly learn that parents exercise NO control over their children. Be prepared to be beat down, yelled at and just plain abused by all children you meet on your journeys to these two countries.

Cackling Hens Make For a Terrible Lunch

June 8, 2010 § Leave a comment

I went to bed last night at 4am working with clients, checking out the new iPhone, chatting with friends back home.  If it wasn’t for tennis this morning I probably would have pulled an all nighter as a new episode of Breaking Bad was available to download.  Suffice to say after an hours of tennis in the sun after next to no sleep, I wasn’t in a great mood but, I did have a lunch appointment with one of my managers at the Dragon Hot pot.  Much to my chagrin, our table upstairs was situated next to about 15 Malaysian chicks.  This would normally be great, except for the fact it was some strange mix of old and young, goth and Muslim, with a common denominator, LOUD and UGLY.  These chicks were all rocking black, 1/3rd with matching black head wraps.  One had a hair do that resembled Billy Idol.  It was bad.  Every 5 minutes felt like New Year’s 1999 at an animal shelter full critters deathly scared by the fireworks. To top it all off, the upstairs is a mezzanine, which gets filled with smokey air from the hot pots below.  For some reason I could not comprehend, the staff said they couldn’t turn on the ceiling fans so I was definitely hot and uncomfortable.

So, i can’t really give a great review as even a minor delay in service was the cause of a major headache.  The food was ok.  I’ve yet to find really good teriyaki here so, with that as the bar, I’d say the teriyaki lunch set is worth having.  I”ll probably go back again during off hours, sit downstairs, and stay far away from any sign of Malaysian women.

Teriyaki Chicken

Teriyaki Chicken

Massage in Saigon – Part One

June 7, 2010 § 4 Comments

Whether you want therapeutically effective or pure rub and tug, Saigon has it all.  Living here, I probably spend about 10% of my time awake getting a massage.  There are basically four types of massage here:

  1. Spa Style — this is what you’d expect in the Western world.  Choices of styles, good service, very clean, and, expensive.  Examples of this would be The Spa at the Manor or anyone of the hotel spas.  I’m not an expert in this space as it’s all a bit expensive for my tastes.
  2. Foot Massage — Usually Japanese themed, this to me is the best bargain for a good quality massage. I used to think “why the hell would i want someone just rubbing my feet?”.  But, one back injury and 100 massages later, i’m convinced this is the way to go.  They typically also do a 90 minute session that includes a full body rub.  These types of massages are almost always done in a room with other people.  The one downside to this is Vietnamese and their cel phones can be VERY annoying if you’re just looking to relax.  I stick with one place almost exclusively called Yuan foot massage.  It caters to a Japanese crowd.  $8 for an hour, $12 for 90 minutes, including tip.  They serve great tea and are very professional.  They have both guys and girls who do massage there, although it’s primarily girls.  They aren’t cute, but, these little girls can put some serious pain on you.  Ask for #5 or #11 and you will not be disappointed.  Sorry guys, no happy endings here.
  3. Salon Style — There are quite a few of these places in town, most are actually pretty good.  I typically go to one of three, Le Duyen 4, DMax or Duyen Dang 3. What you get here is a mix between therapeutic massage, facial, manicure, hair cuts and really whatever else you want from a treatment standpoint.  The girls at the places mentioned are HOT, smoking hot.  They dress very sexy and give excellent service.  The Goi Dau, or hair wash is an amazing thirty minutes of relaxation.  I will typically spend about 2 hours there getting a hair wash, which, is really a long facial under warm water and massage.  The massage is good, typically they use hot stones on your back with just a little bit of oil.  They also do this knee rub thing that feels great. Some days, when I’m hung over (wait, that’s most days), I have the girls bring me some Pho (soup) or a Banh Mi (sandwich) and I’ll chill in the VIP massage and watch some TV.  Cost is 120,000VND ($6.50) for regular and 250,000VND ( $13) for VIP.  Tips here are usually 100,000 VND ($5.50) to 300,000 VND ($16.50).  There is no freaky stuff at these places either so, prepare yourself for ecstasy minus the release.  Sometimes the girls there will meet you up for coffee at night or go clubbing.  Typically though, they work long, hard days so don’t be too offended if you have trouble getting one to go out with you.
  4. And… the moment you all have been waiting for, the Rub and Tug… But, you’re gonna have to wait for Part Two to post for that.

Massage Locations

  • Yuan Foot Massage – 15B Le Thanh Ton Street
  • Le Duyen 4 –  – 72 – 74, Truong Dinh Street, Ben Thanh Ward, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City
  • Duyen Dang 3 –  44, Truong Dinh Street, Ben Thanh Ward, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City
  • Dmax – 9A, Ton That Tung Street, Pham Ngu Lao Ward, District 1, Ho Chi Minh City
  • The Spa at the Manor – 91 Nguyen Huu Canh Street

Not Your Typical Saturday Night in Saigon

June 6, 2010 § Leave a comment

Interesting Party Concept in Saigon

I woke up late on Sunday angry because i thought i missed the Laker’s game.  Called my girl, she said, “is it Sunday” (meaning, is the game on Sunday) and i responded, “i’m so stupid, today is only Saturday”… She was confused but I was so convincing I had her believing it was still Saturday… Then i realized, there is no way an all day pool party could have been on Friday night?  Anyway, that’s how messed up we got the night before!

A week before i saw this post for a pool party.  Sounded interesting but, I was a bit wary as those are usually expat central which means, lots of loud foreigners and typically much uglier girls.  My buddy hit me up though on the day of and suggested we check it out.  I was like, “are you kidding, it’s raining”, to which he responded “what else are we gonna do?”.  At 5 in the afternoon on a Saturday, it was a point well taken.  So, we rolled out there, paid our 250,000 (about $13) VND to get in and checked it out… What didn’t surprise me was there were almost no people there.  The pleasant surprise was that out of the 50 people there, 35 were probably girls!  The other nice thing was a bottle of SKY Vodka with 4 chaser cans was only 450,000VND ($23).  Say no more!  We posted up on some lawn chairs under a tarp, chatted up some of the PR girls and had a pretty fun time.  There was supposed to be a bikini contest which we never saw.  Typical in Vietnam, they schedule a million things for an event, then, everything is either late, or just doesn’t happen.  The highlight of the night was my buddy picking up our waitress and jumping in the pool… Good times.  I don’t personally know the guys who threw this event, but, you can keep up with them online, info below.

We left there about 7:30pm, went back to my place for a quick shower and, of course, some Hangar Lime for the road, then headed off to VIP Karaoke where we had an expiring bottle.  If you’re staying in Vietnam for an extended time, keep an eye out for the expiration dates on any bottles you leave as they are usually 1 to 3 months. VIP Karaoke is a bit on the upscale side.  Nice, pretty classy.  The girls sit with you and drink but are typically not take home girls.  If you’ve got enough game, you might be able to talk them into going out with you… Getting a phone number is par for the course so don’t get too excited about that.  Most places the girls make money when you book a room/table with them so, expect them to call you.  You know you got game if they actually go hang out with you and don’t just call to say “i miss you, i want to see you, you come here”.

One more bottle later, my buddy talked me into going to X Club, a hot, trendy, local Vietnamese style club.  Loud techno / dance music is par for the course at these places.  Girls are pretty hot but, it’s a bit hard to meet them as they are usually in groups and, if they can afford to go there are either prostitutes or have some guys footing the bill.  We had a couple bottles already so it was all to the good.  The place is expensive though.  Chasers are about $4 each can, bottles anywhere from $80-$300 each.  Fruit plates and things of that nature will really add up too so if you’re on a budget, be careful what you are ordering.

Venue Details

Wet and Wild Pool Party –

VIP Karaoke

  • Address — not exactly sure — on Nguyen Dinh Chieu Street about 1 block from Cach Manh Tang 8

X Club (also known to the locals  as 030 (khong ba khong)

  • Address: 58, Ton That Thiep Street, District 1

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