Advice From a Professional Drinker

June 15, 2010 § Leave a comment


Pretty Drunk

Don't Be This Girl

I used to tell people back in the night club days that I was a professional drinker. Girls would look at me like I was crazy, telling me that it was just not possible.  So, I’d ask them to define professional, which sadly most couldn’t do. One of the dictionary definitions of a professional is “following as a business an occupation ordinarily engaged in as a pastime.”  Last I checked, most people drink for fun, I used to do it for money. 3-5 nights a week for 7 years I was out in the club scene, throwing back a couple drinks with customers whom were either attending my parties or whom I was trying to get to come to my parties.  Part of making them feel comfortable was my having a drink with them.  Say no more, i’m a registered expert.

Hangovers generally consist of a headache and a stomach ache.  These are caused by two things, dehydration and stomach acid. Alcohol is pretty brutal on your body

So here are some tips to help you stay relatively hangover free:

  1. Before you go out, pop an ibuprofen and an antacid
  2. Don’t drink mixed drinks such as Long Islands.  Bad liquor and Sugar is a BAD mix
  3. Eat, but don’t eat too much
  4. Drink 1/2 a glass of water for every ounce of alcohol
  5. Drink at least one full glass of water before you sleep
  6. Try not to wake up with a fat chick next to you – fastest way to an upset stomach.

Granted, if you decide to drink yourself to the brink of death and wind up with alcohol poisoning, all that might be left for you is a trip to the ER for a nice long IV…. Anyone know if I can buy IV’s on the open market, man, those feel good.

Happy Drinking

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Advice From a Professional Drinker at Jugs and Beaks.

meta

%d bloggers like this: